|
|
Post By Hatman Wed Jul 07, 2004 at 07:40:19 pm EDT |
Subject
Re-post: What if...Hatman wrote a ManMan story? | |
|
|
Next In Thread >> | |
Riiiiing….riiiing….riiiing…” rang the telephone.
“Ugh…too early for phone…” muttered Joe Pepper, the owner of said phone. The part-time superhero when-he-felt-like-it building manager picked up the offending instrument and answered it to the best of his cognitive and barely conscious abilities. “H’lo?”
“Hey there Manny!” chirped a rather chipper voice for 6 A.M..
“Dream?” responded ManMan. He didn’t think he was capable of vocalizing the Legionnaire’s full superhero name at the moment.
“You betcha! We wanted to call you earlier but we didn’t want to wake you up so I figured I’d wait until a more decent hour which is now to call and congratulate you guys on the new game!” ran on the wired wonder.
“You think this is a decent hour?” growled ManMan, the anger and disbelief burning through the post-sleep haze.
“Well yeah, isn’t everybody up by Rocket Robin Hood?” asked CrazySugarFreakBoy! in earnest.
“No, they’re not…wait a minute, game? What game?” he questioned.
“Dude, THE game! Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of it!” exclaimed CSFB! in shock.
“I haven’t heard of it, I don’t wanna hear about it, I’m going back to bed,” muttered Joe. Before CSFB! could protest, which is pretty quick when you think about it, Joe hung up the phone.
“Calling me at 6 in the bloody morning about a game…” he growled under his breath as he made his way back to bed.
“Dude, what game?!” exclaimed ManMan over the phone. It was now 1 in the afternoon and ManMan was fully awake, and after Knifey confirmed that the phone call from CrazySugarFreakBoy! hadn’t been a dream he decided to investigate.
“Your game!” answered CSFB! excitedly. “It was released yesterday and me and Nats have been playing it non-stop all night! He wussed out around 8 this morning but I’m still going!”
“What kind of game? Card game, board game, trivia game, what?!” asked an exasperated ManMan. It occurred to him he could have just called Hatman or Trickshot and gotten a much more concise answer.
“A video game, duh?! It’s out on all of the platforms, and it kicks major ass!” enthused CSFB!.
“Platforms?” questioned the Elvis impersonator.
“X-Box, Playstation 2, Gamecube, y’know, platforms, different gaming systems. Geez man, get with the times,” scolded Knifey from the coffee table.
“It’s so cool! It’s totally free-roaming so you can go all over Parodiopolis, and I’ve heard rumours that you can unlock Herringcamp Asylum once you get enough Burger Points! I’ve been patrolling for hours now, stopping muggings, getting cats out of trees, even going out for dinner with Stacey Gwen! It’s awesome!” CSFB! extolled.
“Sounds like fun…I guess. Seems kinda, I dunno, boring to me.” admitted ManMan.
“That’s cause it sounds like your everyday life Joe. To a couple of other people, it sounds exciting,” explained Knifey.
“Dude, you have to come over and check it out!” ordered CSFB!. “And that’s an order!”
“You can’t give me orders, I’m not in the Legion and you’re not the boss of the Legion!”
“True, but if you ever want your wallet back then you’ll have to come and get it,” taunted CSFB!.
“Nice try CSFB!, but my wallet is right…hey, where’s my wallet?!” shouted ManMan.v
“Dream lifted it offa you three days ago,” Knifey helped. “We were wondering when you’d notice.”
“Dammit Dream, I want my wallet back!”
“Then you’ll have to come and get it and you’ll just have to see the game while you’re here,” said CrazySugarFreakBoy! smugly, and promptly hung up.
“Well, my interest is piqued,” Knifey said.
“Rassum frassum stupid CSFB! steal my wallet I’ll show him but good…” muttered ManMan under his breath as he approached the front door of the Lair Mansion. He paused as he considered the Stunulator guns that he knew resided above the door. “Okay, the Stunulator’s only open fire on members of the Lair Legion, right?”
“Well, in my opinion the Stunulator’s operate on the same principle as those handcuffs in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’,” theorized Knifey.
“Refresh me.”
“Roger was able to slip out of the handcuffs only if it was funny,” explained the sentient knife.
“So you’re saying the Stunulator’s will only try to kill me if it’s funny,” clarified ManMan.
“That’s what I’m sayin’.”
“So we should try to sneak in the back then?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Forty-five minutes later the pair managed to enter the mansion unscathed when Flapjack took out the garbage. Safely past the cannons, ManMan let his guard down.
ManMan woke up on the couch in the main living area of the mansion. “How ya doin’ there Manny?” asked Trickshot.
“Oww,” replied the Elvis Impersonator.
“Told you’d they’d only get you when it was funny,” scolded Knifey.
“On the plus side they didn’t instantly vaporize you,” Nats contributed.
“So where’s CSFB!?” asked ManMan. He wanted to see this game so he could get his wallet back.
“Oh, he crashed out about a half hour ago. Even he can only go so long on a sugar rush,” Nats informed him. ManMan sighed.
“Well, at least I can see this game that I’m in while he’s sleeping I guess.”
“Actually, he took it to his room with him,” Trickshot told him.
“Dammit!” swore ManMan.
“Just kidding, here it is,” smiled Nats as he produced the game from the inside pocket of his jacket.
“So this is the video game about…Knifey?!” shouted ManMan. “They made a video game about Knifey?!”
“Sounds logical to me,” said Knifey. “Do I look cool on the cover?”
“You’re in the game too, Manny,” Tricky explained. “Y’see, Knifey has to protect you at the same time he’s accomplishing his missions. Makes things interesting.”
“Knifey has to protect ME?” ManMan checked.
“Sounds logical to me,” Knifey repeated.
As Nats and Trickshot loaded the game to show Knifey, ManMan went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. And to sulk. Food and sulking go well together.
“I want my wallet dammit.”
~Hat~
--Almost didn't save this story after he posted it the first time
Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP (0.34 points)
| Echo™ v2.1 beta 1 © 2004 Powermad Software |
|
|